I just read Conrad Systems Development’s Access Junkie Top 10 List. I think we need one for Excel Junkies. Here are some candidates for Top 10 Signs You Are an Excel Junkie, in no particular order.
- When your car breaks down, you open Excel 2003 Power Programming with VBA to learn how to fix it.
- You try to press F8 on your microwave to step through the cooking process and figure out why your popcorn always burns.
- You’ve tried to re-write Quicken in Excel.
- You think in terms of Excel formulas, i.e.
=IF(AND(MIN(Temperature, 50)=50, WEEKDAY(NOW(),2)=6, NOT(Rain)),"Play Golf", "Sleep In")
- You’ve painted gridlines on the floor of your house so you can more accurately refer to specific locations. “Pick up those dirty socks at AC314, then F5 back to A1?
- You pine for a Control+Z after answering the infamous “Does this make me look fat?” question.
- When your spouse says “Because I said so” in an argument, you reply:
I cannot resolve your logic. References in your logic refer to your conclusions, creating a circular reference. Try one of the following: If you accidentally created a circular reference, say OK. I will help you correct the reference. For more information about why your logic stinks, say Help. To continue ranting illogically, say Cancel.
- You no longer associate the F1 key with help. (Excel 2003 Junkies only)
Certainly you have some that are better than this. Let’s hear them.