Everyone who has heard this story liked it, so I decided to share it with the world. On Friday night, my neighbor invited me to play golf in Lincoln at 7:00AM Saturday. Lincoln is about 50 miles from where I live. Since the snow will be flying here before long, I took him up on the offer. The plan was to leave at 5:45AM so we’d have time to practice. Quarter to six is pretty early for me, even when golf is involved. If you’ve never been up that early, let me tell you: it’s dark.
When the alarm went off at 5:15, I wasn’t at all surprised that it was dark. I had totally prepared myself for darkness. I brushed my teeth and put my contacts in. I got dressed and ate breakfast. My wife didn’t even stir. I was about five minutes early and decided to check on the hurricane. It hadn’t even made landfall yet. It must have slowed down. Oh well. I looked out my front door at my neighbor’s house: There wasn’t even a light on. “I better call him”, I thought.
I hate to call people that early, so I checked my watch again. To my surprise, it wasn’t 5:40, but 1:40. That’s right, in the morning. I was up and ready to go with about four hours to spare. I went back to bed for four hours, needless to say.
Now for the post game analysis: The alarm didn’t really go off at 1:15 because my wife would have heard it. She didn’t. Did I dream that the alarm went off? Who knows. My watch has hands that glow in the dark, so I undoubtedly looked at it when I got up. I can see myself looking only at the minute hand and not even paying attention to the hour hand. But at 5:15, the hour hand should have been near the five. Maybe I didn’t look at the hour hand, but it should have been conspicuously absent from my field of vision. Oh, but it gets better. I walked by the television in the bedroom on top of which is a cable box with a digital clock that can’t hardly be missed. I walked into the bathroom and stood at a vanity, on top of which sits an analog clock. I cooked a couple of eggs in the microwave for breakfast. Can you guess what’s on the microwave at about eye level? Finally, I turned on the living room television and changed the channel to the Weather Channel. So I had to be looking directly at the cable box at some point.
I don’t normally revel in telling stories that make me look foolish. However, everyone to whom I told this story has been so universally entertained at my expense, that I couldn’t keep it buried.
FAQ #1: What are you, stupid? Yes.
FAQ #2: Weren’t you tired? Yes, but I expected to be tired so it wasn’t that odd.
FAQ #3: How long did it take you to get back to sleep? Less than 10 seconds.
FAQ #4: How did you shoot? Ten over, which is surprisingly good for me.
I’m heading to the MVP Summit at Microsoft tomorrow and I won’t be back until Sunday. I’m going to try to blast a couple of posts off before I leave. I’m also taking my wife’s laptop, so I might post from Seattle too. I’ll have lots of dish on the new version of Office, and since I’m under a non-disclosure agreement, I won’t be able to tell you any of it.